Just close your eyes – Story I

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In the middle of her heart she’d never let him go. She lied because of love and this thing was like a hot knife… She tried to hold on. But her body wasn’t connected to her mind anymore, so she looked down then back and saw nothing. ‘Cause he was gone.

In a sunny day of march, when the blossoms were so pink, a lightly pink, she is walking on a public garden close to the University of Arts. All the time thinking of the future and letting the present forgotten as if it’s not the base of her thoughts. She’s acting as if she’s scared of herself. She’s so alone. She just closed her eyes and now, back to the reality, she is staring at an open window of the corp C, whence a calm sound is coming.

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Maybe she isn’t really prepared for what it’s coming but she knows exactly that nothing could be easy. There are only risks or sacrifices. And she hates to look back. This sound is easily familiar to her. She was used to woke up in the morning listening to it. And that’s why she is walking on this garden, close to this building. His mind was so delicate and she was safe putting her trust in his energy. That’s why she’s hopeless now.

He said “I’ll never let you do, you’ll all that I need.” Her enigmatic feelings pursue over her love from him. Now all that she remembers are the last words he was saying “just close your eyes”.

Love is good but sometimes doesn’t have anything to do with happiness. She was looking for happiness without thinking that what she wants is not what she needs. She’s good, patient, wise and too calm. She’s the oposite of what she really was when he met her eyes for the first time. She made him fall and lived the moment doing the same, but then, her happiness proved to be away from him. And he said “don’t look down, I’ll hold on”. Her life is different and soon will be short. She’s deep in love and she have to let him go.

While runing on the same boulevard to her little house from the beach, she heard some wicked words. “Ohh girl, that’s your name”. He was calling her asking to stay.

She would give anything to get in his arms al least for the last time. But she would intensify those beautiful feelings for no future. Only thinking of the future.

“I need to know why, that’s all I need to hear, please…”

Her energy was totaly consumed, hard breathing, keeping her hand over her heart, she turned back trying to control herself. She looked up, saw that friendly glance and sad on the same time. She couldn’t whisper a word. She’s giving up. And how ironic, being sure that she’s owning a short life she’s only thinking of a future.

“I will… I just can’t…”

Her smooth glance is beging him to leave, it would be easy.

In the middle of her heart she’d never let him go. She lied because of love and this thing was like a hot knife… She tried to hold on. But her body wasn’t connected to her mind anymore, so she looked down then back and saw nothing. ‘Cause he was gone.

Photo : TheInspirationGrid

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Four years – Forever us

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It’s been four since we said for the first time on the same time I like you.
Over 7 days from your birthday… I see that you’re still calling me for your birthday. I guess you still like to make presents to yourself by hearing my voice.
We were one and the same person. We knew the pure love that could ever exist. I knew you, you knew me.
Things happen, but feelings don’t. Feelings persist, and will persist on…
4 years… And we feel each other as the beginning of our life. I loved you, you loved me. The most important thing is that we didn’t waste our time. We spent it loving. And we really loved each other…

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Time pass, feelings persist, memories exist, we’ll always be the same. So, dear pure love, no matter that the distance is still between us, you have your life, I have mine. And if you’re happy so do I.
But if we’ll ever meet again, I know that we’ll still be the same us.
Happy fourth year of meeting myself, my love, my kindness, my all.

Goodbye – You, Wyoml!

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All my life I needed an exact thing about how to start a new year. Depends on how you wait for it. How? Partying? Hoping for the best? Making a wish? Looking to the hight?
Yes. Like this. Until I got into 2014.

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This year was like a fake temptation. Had trade me and make me think that that sweet beginning will lead me to something better. To what I wanted to realize along of it. But…
In some words I’ll describe it. I named it Wyoml. Guess? Worst Year Of My Life.

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This doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy all its moments. Cause there were also beautiful ones. Of course, everything bad comes with a good first. Or after. 2015… ?
Wyoml showed me and made me pass for the first time, through the worst feeling that a human can have. Loosing somebody you truly care. And not just this: plus, without seeing that person before “the gone”.
This, a great torture, with a bonus pain in my heart and mind. Until this year, I have never experienced something like this.

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After this try over me, Wyoml gave me some beautiful moments, but, how can you be happy drinking crystal water after you’ve been already dehydrated ? At least you’re not dead, you might be thinking now.

After treating myself by doing useless things to my personal evolution as a human in this tyrannic world, Wyoml showed me that it can do it ¨better, so I’ve been served with the detachment and recklessness of the ones I love. And, the reasons has no importance when they know they’re the ones for you.
Ok, Wyoml. You infected the love that had been feeding me since I was born.
Sad. Nevertheless , all that I have to say is thank you.

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Thank you, Wyoml for training me for this life.
I also know that nothing worth comes easy, and I’m also conscious that in a great measure all of these depended on my strength, faith, trust and hope. When I had none of these.

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So thanks again, Wyoml, aka 2014.
You just trained me for a next one, and now I’m well prepared.

I have the Strength to sustain my Faith that will protect my Trust so I can Hope to act. – Maria Sfiq

North Escape – Journey I

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I’m sick, ill or whatever. With my soul.
Just finished the last lab at the college on this day; run to my apartment, taking my luggage and gone to the train station.
North, I’m coming.
Such a cold night, no one here to wait that midnight train. Alone. Purely alone.

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All that I find useful to do is playing with my breath in the air. Like an old child… Playing with this healthy smoke.
Everything is staring good. I am acting like a personage from any of Emil Bacovia’s poems.
Solitude. Pure solitude.
Don’t ask me what I’m doing here. This is just a good way of feeding my ego. My good thoughts, positive ones, and all that I have.
This time I’ll learn how to feed myself without tasting the reality.

Armin van Buuren Feat. Lauren Evans – Alone

In love with this song, its beat, its lyrics….

Best Trance Lyrics

Everyone is walking on the edge of life
Like a ghost of a shadow, barely alive
Even times in a rush, but it’s going nowhere

Everyone’s connected, but no one is connecting
The human element has long been missing
Tell me have you seen it, have you seen it?

Oh, we’re alone
‘Cause I need something to believe it
Tell me, are we alone
Where is the love, where is the feeling
Is anybody out there?
Is anyone listening?
Is anyone loved in this whole world?
Oh, we’re alone
Alone

Loved in this whole world?
Alone

Where is the feeling
Everybody needs to know somebody who cares
Just a friendly face you can trust to be there
Are you afraid to be known?
And not be a stranger

‘Cause everyone’s connected, but no one is connecting
The human element has long been missing
Tell me have you seen it, have…

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A place to nowhere – To my peace

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Somewhere far away from the routine. All I ever wanted. Sea, lakes, river with amazing cascades, forests, lands, hidden places and this list can go on. But some places where for a while you’re thinking at the moment and not at the time.

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A place where there’s no now, today or tomorrow. Especially, no yesterday. A place where there’s not even you. No more you or yourself. Just that place and your mind driving your body.

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In fact, this is what I call peace.
Yeah, peace. This could come with the wind together. Moving slow those circles under a static water, making leaves of different colors to fall or float in the air. And you watching all these, wondering of how could this be happen so perfectly… Yeah, this is peace.

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I could lose my strength in a limitless blue up and down. ‘Cause it’s such a beautiful sensation when you realize that between reality and crazy things is just a thought.
At least, why do we search for peace in these… things?

21 jump life

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I’m talking about 17th september. Yes, my birthday. It a special day, despite of all others when I didn’t really felt them as my birthdays. I was home alone, and this test of solitude made me talking to my self. And it was a good speaking.
It was special because I felt that I really changed my life, at a 21 jump. Yes. I was happy, insecure, powerful, lovely dressed, positive thinking – which is the most important – and welcome to all the new things.

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I don’t like presents. Now 6 or 7 years this was a lie, but now, I do like to forget about presents on special days. I like presents all the time. So I like to be surprised.
Anyway… 21.
It’s a big number for me. I’m feeling different. A litle bit inlove with some things, as life, me, and someone else.
It’s 21. And I like the way I am. I guess this is one of the most important things to be happy.

Rescue me – Without you (my movie)

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If you had a choice then what would you choose, to do.I can live without money,I can live without the fame and if every day was sunny I can live without the rain and if I ever went up to heaven I will fall right back down that life wouldn’t be living, cause you’re the one I couldn’t live without.

If I couldn’t blink will I still be able to see you. I couldn’t imagine without arms could I reach, no way could I ever hold you I need these things, like I need you, if you had a choice what would you choose.

 

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I can live without money, I can live without the fame and if every day was sunny I can live without the rain and if I ever went up to heaven I will fall right back down that life wouldn’t be living, cause you’re the one I couldn’t live without.

If I couldn’t dream would I believe that there can be a you and me and
if I couldn’t sing would you be able to hear my melody, I know that somethings wrong and im afraid that your moving on, how can I fly when your my wings. I need these things, like I need you, if you had a choice what would you choose.

You can take it all from me, and it wouldn’t mean anything, turn the whole world against me as long as you don’t leave. Its getting hard for me to sleep, even harder for me to breath. Im used to life with you, tell me what I need to do.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iyiJuBhFAk

First shooting – ADH (Atelierul de Haine)

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At the end of last year I had the great pleasure to be the model of ADH. ADH is a store of traditional clothes from Romania. The stuff, including the designers who most of them are students, are making these beautiful clothes, all inspired from the tradition of Romania but also combined with the urban style.

 

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